By Matthew Moorcroft

Unsure

• Directed by Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic
• Starring Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black
• PG

Seemingly designed from the ground up to be as frenetic and as fast moving as possible to keep the attention of even the smallest of hyperactive children (or hyperactive, chronically online adults), The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is only barely just that. A barrage of loud noise, colors, and action sequences, the only thing more obvious then it’s constant finger pointing references and self-winking homages to itself is it’s lack of connective tissue and storytelling so flimsy that one could actually make the argument that games themselves have more going for them in terms of narrative.

But this isn’t surprising, or at least shouldn’t be, to anybody who watched original Mario Movie back three years ago when people – including myself – sounded alarm bells at that film’s difficult relationship with things like story structure and emotional sincerity. So while The Super Mario Galaxy Movie being similarly challenged in that department isn’t necessarily something shocking, what’s actually shocking is just how sloppy it actually is in motion; plot beats simply just happening, character arcs are skipped, and setpieces are less video game stages and more of a map screen you quickly gloss over.

And yet, two things can be true at once, as despite The Super Mario Galaxy Movie‘s inherently sloppiness as a picture – it might actually be one of Illumination’s most ill-fated pictures in that regard – it never stops at least being entertaining, whether that be for the right or wrong reasons. Unfournately for myself, an adaptation of Super Mario Galaxy was always going to at least get some level of reaction out of myself, and seeing things like Warp Stars and the Lumas and the vast amount of creative planets that catalogue that game did put a smile on my face.

Compared to it’s game counterpart however, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is actually a rather loose version of it, being less a straight adaptation and more of a hodge podge of iconography from multiple Mario games with something of a Galaxy framing device. Most of is seen with newcomer Rosalina, here retconned as a straight up princess, whose kidnapping by Bowser’s estranged villainous child Bowser Jr. sets off the non-stop adventure from planet to planet. Mario & Luigi themselves are mostly backseat players here, content with reacting to the inevitability of the things around them then taking direct action. Most of that direct action is instead taken by Peach herself, who may have connections to Rosalina that she herself is unsure about. Oh, and Yoshi is here too. And also Fox McCloud for some reason. As well as a whole Bowser subplot involving his possible turn to the good side that doesn’t really go much of anywhere.

It’s very clear Mario Galaxy wants to do a lot, and that lack of connective tissue means there are entire sequences of this that just come and go without much fanfare. There is an entire Yoshi’s Island style bit with a baby version of the leads that’s only really there to service a reason to have a Yoshi’s Island bit, and characters from Super Mario Bros. 2 appear briefly to seemingly only exist to fill time and give Peach and Toad something to do. They are fun sequences on their own, and this goes for much of the film’s individual scenes – an introduction to Yoshi by way of Hypnotize is a highlight and the action sequences are actually impressive – but it’s hard to get invested when nothing is gained, when nothing is earned. Character arcs are alluded too, particularly in regards to the aforementioned Bowser storyline, but none of them are resolved by the film’s messy and almost incoherent third act, which feels like it climaxes both twice and also not at all.

It’s lucky that from a visual and sonic perspective that The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is just gorgeous to look at and listen to, with it’s beautiful environments leaping off of the screen and the character designs remaining as expressive as ever. Brian Tyler’s excellent score – a genuine highlight of these things – manages to carry much of the film’s weaker aspects, mainly thanks to a mix of stellar remixes as well as really great original material that wouldn’t be out of place with Koji Kondo’s classic orchestrations. The voice cast is nearly uniformly strong as well and one can’t accuse them of not having fun with the project, particularly a brilliantly casted Glen Powell as Star Fox leader Fox McCloud and Nintendo superfan Brie Larson as Rosalina – both of whom feel like they are having the time of their lives on this.

But as somebody who has been through this song and dance before, it’s hard not to see The Super Mario Galaxy Movie as anything more then fluff and noise. Ironic, for an adaptation of maybe one of the quietest games in the series, that The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is so loud. It thinks sincerity and presence is a sign of the kids getting bored, and frankly that’s a disservice to the kids in the audience. Sure, it’s fun in the moment and will likely be enough for some megafans, but as somebody who has loved these characters his entire life, I think kids and fans both deserve something more then a half-assed effort to score a quick buck.