By Matthew Moorcroft

No Recommendation

• Directed by Jon Favreau
• Starring Pedro Pascal, Jeremy Allen White, Brendan Wayne, Sigourney Weaver
• PG-13

The fact this doesn’t even have the “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…” intro card should be red flag number one.

It’s impossible for me to be rational with Star Wars. Most other franchises I can keep myself at least at an arm’s distance and be objective about it, even when I’m enjoying myself. But with Star Wars, it’s almost always two ends of the spectrum with it and it’s totally due to the emotional grip that it has maintained on me and the rest of pop culture throughout the years. Even if it isn’t, I can’t help but feel it’s either incredible or garbage, no in-between.

I bring this up cause it’s ultimately fascinating that The Mandalorian and Grogu, Star Wars‘ seemingly triumphant return to the big screen after a seven year hiatus, is one of the first Star Wars things in general that has filled me with the dreaded emotion of apathy. It’s difficult to care or even want to be mad at, and the stuff that could actually possibly be good is too drowned out in a sea of uninteresting sludge that it ultimately doesn’t matter.

The fact it’s barely a movie doesn’t do it any favors. While director Jon Favreau – who is officially on strike two for big screen fare at the moment – and writer Dave Filoni will insist that The Mandalorian and Grogu was never meant to be part of the television series that spawned it, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it when you are watching it. The entire affair feels like a selection of curated episodes from an unreleased Season 4; most of this probably played ok to good on a television screen or budget, but on the big screen most of it’s weaknesses show. At it’s best, it’s actually got some smartly composed images that bring to mind old school adventure serials. At it’s worst, it’s ugly, muddy, and cheap looking; even the wildly mocked The Rise of Skywalker (which is probably better then you actually remember it) or the ungodly boring Attack of the Clones (which is most definitely worse then you actually remember it) are better looking then this by a country mile.

If it’s visuals can’t save it, then it’s up to the script, but as we know from it’s source material this isn’t exactly a script affair. The film’s best moments, which is it’s opening 10 minutes that sees our titular hero and his companion dispatch an entire guerilla of Imperials as well as a wordless Grogu segment in the third act that brings to mind the works of Jim Henson, lean into this. It’s action and visuals doing most of the storytelling in those moments, and while the actual visuals are still all over the place there is a real strength in simplicity in these brief, singular moments. Grogu himself is the key most of the movie’s small victories; always an impressive feat of puppetry, even ignoring the cute factor the film’s best and only moments emotional cartharsis are with him.

But once everybody starts talking with declarations of “go here” or “this is your job, go do this”, it’s as asinine as it is pointless. Rotta the Hutt is our main target here, and while he’s fun and gets some great moments – as well as a solid chemistry with Grogu – eventually he himself becomes victim to this same undercooked narrative device. The second half fares somewhat better thanks to a clearer focus but it’s all mostly weightless with very little in the way of stakes or interesting ideas.

I would be lying if I said it doesn’t have it’s fun moments – after all, Pedro Pascal is too charismatic to hate and Ludwig Goransson’s score is genuinely tremendous – but for a series as storied as this “just kinda fun” isn’t enough anymore. And while I don’t think The Mandalorian and Grogu is the worst outing the series has ever had – again, Attack of the Clones exists and there are countless Legends and Canon stories in the EU that are equally as terrible – but it’s the first time that on the big screen Star Wars has felt completely frictionless and stale. Star Wars used to be THE sci-fi story. Now, it’s just another sci-fi story. And that my friends, is nigh unforgiveable.